Thank F@*k for Grandparents.

Thank f@*k for f@*king grandparents,
They've saved my sleep-deprived soul.
From death by CBeebies and teething torture,
And only eating from a 'Hello Kitty' bowl.

Thank f@*k for f@*king grandparents,
And last minute trips to the park.
That let me remember what quiet sounds like,
While I sit... slowly rocking... in the dark.

Thank f@*k for f@*king grandparents,
The Wednesday-night sleepovers at Granny's.
When Mummies and Daddies have alcohol for dinner,
And remember how willies work with fannies.

Thank f@*k for f@*king grandparents,
For letting me pretend I have a life.
With baths, and mascara, and afternoon naps,
And an evening without the Garden in the F-ing Night.

Thank f@*k for f@*king grandparents,
Days aren't just for soft-play and weeping.
There's gin, and wine, and grown-up television,
And the occasional night-time spent sleeping...


#alsothankf@*kforGIN
#hopemyparentsdontactuallyreadthis...
#iftheydo-sorryforswearing
#andthefanniesbit