Wednesday, 26 February 2014

Toddler Potty Mouth

My toddler's got a potty mouth,
I know it's all my fault.
I've waited too long, to stop dropping the F-Bomb,
Now an X-Rated pre-schooler is the result.

My toddler's got a potty mouth,
It's awful but it's true.
She has no idea, that saying 'shit' instead of 'oh dear',
Went down VERY badly in her 2-year review...

My toddler's got a potty mouth,
I shouldn't find it funny...
But I can't help but splutter, when she calls Daddy a cheeky f@*ker,
I can't deny I'm a very bad Mummy.

My toddler's got a potty mouth,
She's picked up EVERY word;
Every 'bugger', every 'bastard', every knobber, dick and twat.
Some of them I swear I've never heard!

My toddler's got a potty mouth,
It's time to reign it in.
So from this day, not a naughty word I'll say,
I'll just sit silently sobbing into my gin.

(like usual really...)


#toddlerpottymouth
#mummygin
#gin




24 comments:

  1. Haha - I showed my husband your blog the other day and he said but she swears. A lot. On a mummy blog! I said I know and it is F@*king fantastic xxx Bet her daddy is a cheeky F@*ker xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha! Yes. He is totally cheeky MOFO! lol xx

      Delete
  2. Ha ha! Oh dear, how do you react when she swears around other people?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So far, she only seems to do it around me... that or it's not yet clear enough for others to work out! It only started a couple of weeks ago... I think she's been storing it up for when I feel most vulnerable! lol x

      Delete
  3. Oh no! Best of luck keeping those words in..!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will need more than luck... I will need duct tape. lol xx

      Delete
    2. We froze the day little z said "waakin ELLL!" He's not said it again thank god!! :)

      Delete
    3. ha - it is so embarrassing in public! I keep just trying not to react and it seems to be keeping a lid on things! lol x

      Delete
  4. Ha ha ha! Good skills there! Love the poetry. X

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yikes! Been there. With Grandma as an audiene. At a Christening. Awesome. Glad I'm not alone. Great post.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Very good. The other week I banged my head on the bathroom towell rail and shouelted 'Ah shit' only to hear from the next room 'Daddy what does Ah Shit mean?' #awkward

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. heehee :)) I'm waiting to be called a stinky-turd-rag... as this is what I say when `i change her nappy! lol ;) Oh the laughs... the pain... *sobs a bit* x

      Delete
  7. Too funny! Great post! I'm Heather and I was hoping you could answer a question I have about your blog! Please email me at Lifesabanquet1(at)gmail(dot)com :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! xx Why don't you tweet me @wallymummy - prob the best way to get hold of me! x I'm not a commercial blogger though just so you know ;) xx

      Delete
  8. Haha Every parent's fear.

    Is it just me or do you use any excuse to drink gin?Just sayin'. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shhhhhh. No-one else will notice if we just keep that quiet... ;) heehee x gin? X

      Delete
  9. I used to work in a nursery and even the quietest and most polite ones try a swear or two :D

    ReplyDelete
  10. I don't have this exact problem, but we have a blaspheming issue. I don't know why this concerns me so much, as I'm not religious at all. But hearing my toddler exclaim 'oh god' when anyone poos (him or his little brother) disturbs me somewhat. I've been meaning to write a post on this - maybe I will soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's true - whatever they say just sounds wrong doesn't it! Luckily - the potty mouth seems to be calming down on mine after a week of ignoring... ignorance clearly works! lol x

      Delete

Toddler Potty Mouth

My toddler's got a potty mouth,
I know it's all my fault.
I've waited too long, to stop dropping the F-Bomb,
Now an X-Rated pre-schooler is the result.

My toddler's got a potty mouth,
It's awful but it's true.
She has no idea, that saying 'shit' instead of 'oh dear',
Went down VERY badly in her 2-year review...

My toddler's got a potty mouth,
I shouldn't find it funny...
But I can't help but splutter, when she calls Daddy a cheeky f@*ker,
I can't deny I'm a very bad Mummy.

My toddler's got a potty mouth,
She's picked up EVERY word;
Every 'bugger', every 'bastard', every knobber, dick and twat.
Some of them I swear I've never heard!

My toddler's got a potty mouth,
It's time to reign it in.
So from this day, not a naughty word I'll say,
I'll just sit silently sobbing into my gin.

(like usual really...)


#toddlerpottymouth
#mummygin
#gin




24 comments:

  1. Haha - I showed my husband your blog the other day and he said but she swears. A lot. On a mummy blog! I said I know and it is F@*king fantastic xxx Bet her daddy is a cheeky F@*ker xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha! Yes. He is totally cheeky MOFO! lol xx

      Delete
  2. Ha ha! Oh dear, how do you react when she swears around other people?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So far, she only seems to do it around me... that or it's not yet clear enough for others to work out! It only started a couple of weeks ago... I think she's been storing it up for when I feel most vulnerable! lol x

      Delete
  3. Oh no! Best of luck keeping those words in..!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will need more than luck... I will need duct tape. lol xx

      Delete
    2. We froze the day little z said "waakin ELLL!" He's not said it again thank god!! :)

      Delete
    3. ha - it is so embarrassing in public! I keep just trying not to react and it seems to be keeping a lid on things! lol x

      Delete
  4. Ha ha ha! Good skills there! Love the poetry. X

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yikes! Been there. With Grandma as an audiene. At a Christening. Awesome. Glad I'm not alone. Great post.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Very good. The other week I banged my head on the bathroom towell rail and shouelted 'Ah shit' only to hear from the next room 'Daddy what does Ah Shit mean?' #awkward

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. heehee :)) I'm waiting to be called a stinky-turd-rag... as this is what I say when `i change her nappy! lol ;) Oh the laughs... the pain... *sobs a bit* x

      Delete
  7. Too funny! Great post! I'm Heather and I was hoping you could answer a question I have about your blog! Please email me at Lifesabanquet1(at)gmail(dot)com :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! xx Why don't you tweet me @wallymummy - prob the best way to get hold of me! x I'm not a commercial blogger though just so you know ;) xx

      Delete
  8. Haha Every parent's fear.

    Is it just me or do you use any excuse to drink gin?Just sayin'. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shhhhhh. No-one else will notice if we just keep that quiet... ;) heehee x gin? X

      Delete
  9. I used to work in a nursery and even the quietest and most polite ones try a swear or two :D

    ReplyDelete
  10. I don't have this exact problem, but we have a blaspheming issue. I don't know why this concerns me so much, as I'm not religious at all. But hearing my toddler exclaim 'oh god' when anyone poos (him or his little brother) disturbs me somewhat. I've been meaning to write a post on this - maybe I will soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's true - whatever they say just sounds wrong doesn't it! Luckily - the potty mouth seems to be calming down on mine after a week of ignoring... ignorance clearly works! lol x

      Delete